Silence

There isn't much of it in my life right now - yet silence is somehow appearing here, at my blog! I think it's slipped out of my grasp and is hiding here.

Abruptly adding another adult into your family and home is an interesting process. It has been going pretty well since my father-in-law moved in a month ago, but it has been very tiring. I'm working on finding ways and times to be in some solitude without loosing too much sleep to do it.

We are slowly working things out, and working towards some balance. My father-in-law is a "doer" - he relaxes by working on projects, especially yardwork. My husband and I are "sit-still'ers" - we relax by sitting still and reading or thinking. It's amazing to me how much activity has gone on around our house and yard in the last few weeks! My husband and I are definitely being challenged out of our "overly comfortable" zones, and overall it has been a good thing. I never thought that it would be this challenging to keep up with an eighty-year-old man!!

It'll also get easier as my father-in-law's eyesight improves. He had developed cataracts that he hadn't been able to take care of, and his eyesight had gotten bad enough that it's really not been safe for him to drive. We've been working since he got here on establishing new insurance and doctors, etc..., and yesterday he had his first cataract surgery, which was completely successful. Next week he has his second surgery, and soon he will be able to drive safely again. It will help him so much to be able to see clearly, and to have the freedom to drive himself around as much as he wants.

I'm glad that my husband hasn't been working these last few weeks (and I sure didn't expect to feel this way, even just a few weeks ago). It has been wonderful for him and his dad to be able to spend this time together, and that wouldn't have happened if he was working. So once again I am praying for God's mercy and to trust Him, and that He would work out the timing for my husband to be able to find work.

Even with all the changes that the last few years have brought to our lives, I still struggle with such a change to my expectations of how life should be. While I am truly happy to offer my home to my father-in-law - this matches my ideals for family support, as well as the fact that he's a nice guy and I like him - the change has not been easy to come to grips with. Occasionally I am hit with a wave of grief - grief for the loss of our nuclear family with just my husband and I and our daughters. We may not live like that again before my girls are grown and moved away.

I am realizing again that change, especially to expectations and plans, is probably the one constant of life. I don't know that I am accepting the changes any more easily, but I am coming to expect it and live with that reality a little easier. Maybe.