Today's thought - Self Care is Hard

Wow, I was feeling overwhelmed and slightly flippant when I wrote that last post, and never went back to write my imagined follow-on post.

Right now I am trying to understand how to balance my need, desire, and obligation to care for others in my life with my need to care for myself. Too often in the last few years I have cared for others and not for myself. I can be fairly strong and disciplined in my care for others, but allow myself to be weak and undisciplined when it comes to my own well being. The end result of this path is not good for anyone.

So yes, there are a lot of varying food requirements in my family right now, which can be a little overwhelming at times. But I'm realizing that really the central issues for me are the interior issues of choice, control and communication. Can I choose to care for myself enough to plan ahead for issues like food planning, preparation and the like, rather than squandering my time and forcing myself into a crisis reaction mode? At the same time, can I let go of my desire for everything to work out perfectly (and to realistically know where compromise is acceptable)? Will I have the guts to communicate clearly with the others in my life about what I can and can't do, and what I believe they need to care for themselves? And maybe most importantly, will I face myself with honesty, letting go of my "all or nothing" thinking that I can either care for others or myself, and really face the reality of what I am responsible for, without whining or manipulating.

So that's what I'm thinking about today, along with my typical pre-Christmas busyness. Today I am living with compromise, trying not to be perfectionistic as I finish making some Christmas gifts and try to clean my house to have some friends over tonight.