Energy To Go

When I come to my parent's home, I become much more of a "doer" than I normally am in my own home. For many years, when I came home for a visit I became a little kid again and wanted my mom to take care of me. Now I take care of my mom and dad when I am here - and I like it. I like cooking for them, running errands, doing odd jobs, doing whatever I can (though scrubbing out a refrigerator in the garage in 103 degree heat was a bit crazy!). I still get tired, still spend some time just vegging-out - but I seem to bounce back and keep "doing" easier here than in my own home.

I don't understand this completely. I mean - I can see that this is not my home, I'm not really as comfortable here and therefore not as likely to slip into the chains of depression and shame that slow down my actions at home. This is my parent's home, and there are many factors in being here that drive me to action. But why is this so? Why can I have energy here, but loose it so much quicker at home? Can I bottle this up, somehow, and take it back home? I want to be in my own home, living with my family, dealing with my real feelings and being transparent - and somehow have access to some of this energy and drive at the same time.

I don't want to overstate the amount of work I'm doing, this is a lazy vacation time too. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get to hang in the pool again with my girls, floating lazily on a lounger - before the temperature climbs well over 100 degrees again and we are driven back inside to watch satellite TV, eat food, play on the computer, do crafts, and all those hard things that come with being at grandma and grandpa's house!