We're organizing today. Clearing out old school papers which should have been tossed months ago, working at cleaning up and making some organized spaces for the daily flow of homework, school papers to read and sign, and lunch boxes to be emptied and filled.
I have checklists for the kids - lists of those daily actions that they need to be responsible for to help life run smoothly and healthily. I decided to clean off the front of the fridge, so there could be a neat and clean place to post the checklists for each week. I wish that I had taken a picture of the fridge before I cleaned it off. It was a snapshot of my life - bits and pieces of the last few years left to linger on in layers of artwork, old field-trip permission slips and birthday party invitations, and many-years-old Christmas card photos. All came down, the magnets were weeded out and the fridge scrubbed until it is almost white again (why would they make the surface of a fridge textured?).
One of the things that I took down was an old Baby Blues comic that I had taped to the fridge years ago when my oldest was about to turn two years old. In it, the dad and mom are sprawled exhausted on the couch - the mom holding an infant, and a toddler racing through the house in front of them. The mom says "Which do you want to do... A) clean up the kitchen, or B) get the kids ready for bed?" The dad imagines two scenarios: slaving over the sink surrounded by heaping mounds of dishes, or struggling to get pajamas on a toddler while changing a baby's diaper. He turns his wife and says "What happened to C) none of the above?", and she replies, with a strained expression on her face, "It was replaced by D) In your dreams."
This comic had represented for me the angst of being a stay-at-home mom. The sense of being utterly overwhelmed and desperate in the face of a life ruled by dishes and diapers. I love my kids, and still wouldn't have chosen a different path than staying home with them these last eleven years - but I am ready to move on to a new phase. A phase where I do some work that brings a different kind of sense of achievement, and where I am held accountable for something other than just being somebody's mom. I've been making the slow transition to this new phase for months. Taking down this comic from my fridge feels like the end of an era.
Click here if you want to see the comic.
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2 comments:
good on ya! i know reclaiming those kind of things is so important in our lives.
here's the best thing that worked for me - get those file folder cardboard boxes from the store - label each one for each child w/ the grade - anything that comes home remotely personal goes into the box (they are stacked into a corner of our living room) and i throw away everything else.
instant storage, instant purging - and in a couple of years the kids can purge them themselves into things that are really meaningful to them. it was a year of unbelievable organization because of it.
Parenting is just one long marathon. Don't know one single parent who was in shape before it started....it's like we get in shape as we go along or something.
Loved the comic. God bless you as you move into a new phase. In hindsight I wish I had had the wisdom to do that.
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